[the beginning of our eternity]

Fall has Arrived

Fall has FINALLY arrived here in the valley. THANK HEAVENS! The weather has been absolutely wonderful the past week! Kaulana got free tickets to a "petting zoo" which turns out to be much more than just a petting zoo! it was like a fall PALOOZA or something!! We had such a good time jumping on this weird/awesome jumper thing, milking a fake cow, riding a pedal car, "horse" races, and barrel rides! Kala liked the pedal cars and the barrel ride the best! He cried when we got off the pedal cars and while we were riding the barrel ride all the teenagers were yelling "WOOOO HOOO" so Kala said it right along with him and drove the wheel the ENTIRE time. it was sooooo cute! I just can't believe how big my sweet boy is getting. What a joy he is. He brightens each and every day! I sure love this time of year and am getting sooo excited for all the wonderful holidays to come!

The pictures below are just some random pictures from the past month! I love all of our adventures!


We had a super fun October! We carved pumpkins with out friends the Tiek's and had sooo much fun the week after trick-or-treating!
Kala was a dinosaur this year! He kept running away from me every time i tried to get a picture so this is all we got! Kala LOVED trick-or-treating! He walked to entire time holding my hand and his pumpkin in the other hand! Every time someone would let him pick, he would put the first in his pale then go back for a second. haha. Everyone thought he was so cute so they always let him. Haha! He was hilarious. he was sooooo excited to get home and eat that candy though!


Kala and I were able to come down to Tuscon this week to help during my sisters recovery. (really just for us to play haha). We have had so much fun. Kala wakes up early every morning (not so fun part) and realizes he is at cousins house and has to WAKE UP and PLAY! I was a bit nervous to see how Kala would be around the baby, because he's pretty rough and tough. But oh my goodness he just ADORES sweet Ryker. I have no idea where he got the idea but he keeps trying to hold Ryker whenever he is laying flat on the couch. It's sooooo CUTE! One of the many times he was hunched over admiring Ryker, Ryker put his arms out and so Kala thought he wanted a high five so he slapped his hand haha. He is so flippin cute! We have had so much fun this week and will be very sad to leave!

(Kala trying to hold Ryker haha)

Why I chose...

I was reading this article today, http://bit.ly/p22F5z. To understand the rest of this post, you might want to read it (along with a box of tissues) before you read on.

Ya know, so many people give me such a hard time about having not gotten my bachelors. ( I have my associates don't get me wrong). But they all think less of me for not finishing my degree. Reading this article is EXACTLY why I chose to stay home. I had several dreams when Kala was about a year old that he would die. Now obviously it hasn't happened. But it made me think of how I would feel if he did die young. Now I don't hover over him and obsess over every move he makes. But I don't ever want to look back and wish I would have held him before bed just a little bit longer (not that he lets me ha), or that I wish I would have read him a few more stories, wrestled and tickled him a big more, or that I would have sat back and enjoyed his little devious laugh instead of letting my homework or housework take priority. I want to live each day with my sweet little boy to it's fullest. I don't want to have any regrets. Sure sometimes it's hard to watch the world think that I'm failing or letting myself down because they thought I had so much potential. But here's the thing, I have reached far greater potential being the sweetest little boys "mama" than I could have ever reached while attaining a bachelor's degree. I want to look back and remember the times i just couldn't resist going in his room at night just to hold him because I can't get enough, I want to look back and remember the times he held on so tight while I was helping him through his fear of the slide, I want to remember his first steps, I want to remember when he said his first words, I want to remember chasing him down the hallway while he laughs and screams all at the same time while he slows down so that I might just catch him.

This article helped me to be able to put into words why I feel so strongly about staying home and being a mom. It may not be the right thing for everyone, but for me, there's no other way. We may not live in a big house, we may not have fancy things, but I have the happiest little boy at home that I love with all my heart and that's all that matters. It's like what this woman says, “ I am a reflection of him and not the other way around, and this is, I believe, as it should be. This is a love story, and like all great love stories, it is a story of loss. Parenting, I’ve come to understand, is about loving my child today. Now. In fact, for any parent, anywhere, that’s all there is.” I chose to postpone my bachelor's for now because, I want to experience all the little things today and not wait for some future destination of what I can make my child into, but enjoy and love him for who he is today and if I can guide him as much as he guides me... honestly I could not ask for more in life than to hear his precious laugh and to see his gigantic smile. Sure I may not be living the life everyone else thinks I should, but I know I'm living the life that I will never once regret.


We have been super busy since we've moved to Arizona and having SO much fun! I was watching a friends little boy for the first 6 weeks that we were here and we had lots of fun! He helped paint these posters for my sweet sister and baby Ryker! Kala of course covered his face with paint and got more paint on himself than the poster but he loves to paint! Kala and I got to go down for my sister's c-section September 23, 2011 so we could meet sweet Ryker Cole Baldwin. He is such a cutie! (I get to be down in Tuscon again this week and hold sweet Ryker it's GREAT!)
Kala is such a crack up these days. He is convinced that he is absolutely hilarious. So he walks around laughing at himself and cracking himself up. He decided on day that he needed to put on kaulana's dirty socks. He thought he was so cool. haha. My goodness I love my kid.
A couple of weekends ago there was actually nice weather in the valley so Kaulana, Kala and I headed on a hike first thing in the morning! We had so much fun and Kala was in HEAVEN to say the least, talking up a storm!
We are loving being in the valley and loving our new ward!

sleepless nights

I can't sleep tonight. Been thinking. Wondering. Why the sun rises and sets on certain ways. Why some things ended up this way. How do things wind up so far away? How do you fix mistakes you've made.

Opportunities to Do Good

(Kala was painting a poster for Aunt Melissa and Baby Ryker to come home from the hospital, he had sooo much fun to say the least!)

This past Sunday I was given the opportunity to speak at church. I was not given a topic, but was asked to pray about what I should speak on. Right off the bat, I thought of the talk, "What Manner of Men and Women Ought Ye to be?" by Elder Lynn G. Robbins, because I had been so touched by it in the last general conference. It truly moved me to action. I decided after that talk that I wanted to do the things that we therefore move me forward to the person that I so desire to be. I decided that I would work on responding to the small everyday promptings I receive from the Lord, particularly those that concerned service to others, even if it was just a phone call or a note. Truly it has changed my life. As this opportunity to speak came up I felt that others too may benefit from the experiences that I have had since last april. Well I got in the car the next morning to go to the market and my husband had a byu-speech podcast playing called "Why Giving Matters". Talk about incredible! If you ever had an excuse of why you couldn't give, this sure PROVES (literally with statistics) why we can and should serve. It's incredible the impact service has on the lives of others as well as our own and watching THIS short video (4 mins) this evening just reiterated that to me. I am so very grateful to be part of a church that stresses to its members the importance of service. I truly hope that I can truly "be" a service oriented person and that the Lord can count on me when he needs something to be done. I have been lucky enough to have the opportunity to serve my sweet sister this week in Tuscon as she recovers. I don't think helping with the cutest little newborn really counts as service but I am thankful for each and every opportunity that the Lord gives me to help others, even if they may be small and insignificant to me, who knows, maybe one day it will seem much more to someone on the other end...

slow dance

I was thinkin about an old friend today, lookin at old notes I had written. I had written these song lyrics one day


Have you ever watched kids
On a merry-go-round?
Or listened to the rain
Slapping on the ground?
Ever followed a
butterfly's erratic flight?
Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?
You better slow down.
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.
Do you run through each day
On the fly?
When you ask How are you?
Do you hear the reply?
When the day is done
Do you lie in your bed
With the next hundred chores
Running through your head?
You'd better slow down
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.
Ever told your child,
We'll do it tomorrow?
And in your haste,
Not see his sorrow?
Ever lost touch,
Let a good friendship die
Cause you never had time
To call and say,"Hi"
You'd better slow down.
Don't dance so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't last.
When you run so fast to get somewhere
You miss half the fun of getting there.
When you worry and hurry through your day,
It is like an unopened gift....
Thrown away.
Life is not a race.
Do take it slower
Hear the music
Before the song is over.

Its funny to sit here now looking at silly letters to old friends when I was in high school. I can't even remember if these were lyrics to a song, a poem i read, or maybe even an email who knows. But it's so funny that I had written this but failed to take my own advice and slow down. And for that same reason I lost this dear relationship. It always seems that I'm in a rush to get somewhere. I think it's about time to take my own advice and slow down a bit. The world isn't going anywhere, but my life will pass me by if I don't open up my eyes. I wish i could take all these years back and really be the kind of friend that I realize I could have been. I wish I could have been there for the people that matter most. It's funny the older I get the more I learn and the more I realize I didn't know, and the more I realize I could have done. It tears me up inside knowing now how much more of a person I could be now if I would have known then what I know now. Sometimes I feel like I'm talking in circles and it all makes sense to me but I'm not quite sure if it's coming out right. I guess it's just... weird to look back and realize all you thought you knew but you didn't know and if you would just slow down maybe you'd know. But then how do you move forward when one day you'll be looking back and wish you would have known better?


Some days I feel like we're never going to make it to the next step or we're never going to make it out! Life isn't quite the walk on the beach that the movies portray. Now I'm not venting because today was definitely not one of those days. I had a visit from my new relief society presidency this evening and one of the sisters was telling me about her husband and her story and i was like OH MY GOODNESS DE JA VU! THAT'S US! WE'RE ONLY A FEW YEARS BEHIND! haha I just want to say how grateful I am for the sisters in relief society. For the love and support they have for each other. I am so grateful to be a part of such a beautiful organization and for the tender mercies of the Lord. It feels so good when he sends another sister your way that has been through the same experiences. And even though i know he is always here for me, it feels good to know that others have been through the same thing, they know how you feel, and that THEY MADE IT OUT! haha. In doctrine and Covenants 122 verse 7 it says, "And if thou shouldst be cast into the pit, or into the hands of murderers, and the sentence of death passed upon thee; if thou be cast into the deep; if the billowing surge conspire against thee; if fierce winds become thine enemy; if the heavens gather blackness, and all the elements combine to hedge up the way; and above all, if the very jaws of hell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee, know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good." I know that sometimes trials seem tough, and that maybe we'll never make it out, but I know that all these things are for my good, and I am just so grateful for the love and support that i have all around to help me through the hard and good times.

practicing to be perfect

Yesterday evening after dinner at my aunt and uncles house, we got to have family home evening with them. We talked about Christ's atonement for us and what he died for. He didn't just die for one or two of my mistakes, not even just 95% of my mistakes, he died for %100 of my pain and suffering, for %100 of my mistakes. He doesn't require us to be perfect in return, he requires that we try our very hardest. So in a sense we are "practicing to be perfect". I know it's not going to happen over night, and the Lord knows I sure wish it could. Some times, particularly as an LDS woman, we feel as if perfection is required. But it's not, and we have to remember that. It's been kind of strange for me the past few years as I have made new friends and gained new family, how many people have categorized me as a "molly mormon" persay. It's funny, because the "molly mormon" to me is perfect, and I am far from perfection. Sometimes I feel defensive about it, because there's so much more to me. But as I was pondering this "practicing to be perfect" concept, I realized it's just fine, because I am seeking to reach perfection. When I return to my heavenly father one day, I want to be able to say that I sought to make changes in my life to become as he would have me be. I looked at my two tired boys on sunday when we got home, and I am grateful for this opportunity to be able to try, try and try again because my Heavenly Father knows I'm not perfect, but I am practicing.

one of the big kids

on sunday we went to my uncle steven and aunt michelle's house for dinner! my cousin andrew had this little game thing that you pulled the object out to make these toys spin (they were kind of like tops) and then they bump into each other and the person top that lasts the longest wins of something i don't know. haha. anyway. kala thought he wanted to play too. and since everyone was "throwing" their toys in, he decided he would throw in his pacifier. haha. it was so funny. he though he was one of the big kids. i love that boy.

Hawaiian Keiki

Turns out, Kala LOVES spam. He ate almost a whole slice of spam with rice! I am not sure if I mentioned, but he tends to only snack throughout the day because he CANNOT STAND staying still for very long. But not with his baked spam, he sat until he only had two little pieces left before he told me he was all done! He is officially a true hawaiian keiki!

the way I live

So my husband has had a passing saying throughout the summer. "Live like no one else so that you can live like no one else" from Dave Ramsy, the guy that everyone is obsessed with about getting themselves out of debt and everything. But today I was thinking of that saying, just a bit differently. As a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, often times I am asked, or told in a sense that my church restricts me so I can't live freely. But truthfully, I don't feel that way at all. For one, I have the free agency to choose to live those things, and secondly, I WANT to "live like no one else so that I can live like no one else". In living this way, I am not tied down by addictions, nor do they tear apart my family. Each day is a challenge placed with so many blessings as I follow the commandments that the Lord has given me. As I follow the Lords teachings, I get to experience the greatest freedom anyone could feel. Each morning when I wake up, I have a choice to make, how am I going to live my day. Some days I just want to lay in bed and watch movies all day. But those are always the days I feel the crumiest at the end. When I choose to be proactive, play fun games with my sweet little boy, even clean up after myself immediately, I feel incredible, motivated, satisfied. I want to live like no one else so that I can live like no one else. I am not quite sure if I am making any sense... but here it is!

Lake Powell Sun

Kaulana and I took a little trip up to lake powell! We enjoyed the seven hour drive BABYLESS! Crazy I know, but we have never left Kala besides going to the temple (an for a couple hours on our anniversary haha). We went to Bullfrog Marina and stayed on a houseboat with the Living Scriptures people, had great food, wakeboarding, surfing, tubing, good ol' relaxin' in the sun going on crazy purple slides in the middle of the night, and lots more! We had such a blast and were so sad it was such a short trip! We had so much fun just getting to spend time together without the little man. We have been so blessed!

Kaulana got to drive the houseboat out onto the lake. he was so proud of himself!

I could not ask for more...

Zoo Take Two and Shrine of the Sun

Since we hadn't used our Zoo passes we decided to drive up to Shrine of the sun (it's at the top of the Zoo) and stop and see a few of our favorite animals! It was a cool little place.

We just HAD to feed the giraffe's again. We tried to get kala to feed the giraffe a cracker and he made the funniest "eek" face. It was sooo fun!
Our second favorite, the Okapi!

This little guy is like 8 months old, he was just swinging around like crazy and trying to wake up his mom and dad to play. He was your typical little kid. We also got to see the hippos swimming around! We had lots of fun!

Temple Trip

Kaulana and I were fortunate enough to be able to drive up to Denver while in Colorado this summer to go to the temple! It was so beautiful! Three of the temple workers told us that we were the cutest couple! haha! I have never been told that, let alone three times! We had such a wonderful time and feel so blessed to have been able to go!

Pizza Boy

We ate at this little pizza place in Colorado Springs one day and i must say it was DELICIOUS! I love the little hole in the wall places! Kala sure loves his pizza! He had so much fun sitting on the bench next to mommy and daddy and chowin on his pizza. Talk about one happy little boy! He was in heaven!
(Telling us he was "all done"

One Happy pizza boy!